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I know my Sperm Donor has a name, its "Daniel" .

Posted on 05/29/11

My family and I had a rare meeting with our sperm donor (Daniel) this occurred way inadvance of my daughter turning of age for the Identity Release Program. This meeting happened for several reasons and for all those reasons I am grateful that everythng worked together for the purpose of meeting her biological father and being able to capture that moment in time for her.

My daughter was 2 years old and 4 months, when she first met Daniel and his mother/father and one sister (he has 2 more) we would eventually meet them all, when she was held by him for the first time in her life. She won't remember it, but we (her daddy and I ) have the stories to share with her and the photos. She has a pretty good idea of it all at her current age of 4 yrs. and 9 months. We talk of him all the time before that first meeting and after and especially now because, he is deceased as of last year 2010 in a tragic motorcycle accident.

He died three weeks after his 30th birthday. The news devastated me as we were friends on Facebook and I found out on there reading entry after entry from his friends and family about the tragedy. I was upset, in denial, and angry and thankful all at the same time. How could he be gone so soon after just meeting him and establishing a dialogue and communication? I was angry that this was what his sperm donation money had contributed to, him buying a motorcycle in the first place (not the one he was killed on though) he would later get another one. I was upset no one called me directly that I had to find out this way via Facebook. Truth of the matter it wasn't like he was going to call me and say, hey Tam - I died last night, sorry you had to find out this way. On the other hand I was thankful that he contributed so much to my life and brought this joy of my daughter to me and her father. Then, I was in denial that it just couldn't be, I needed to see for myself and that wasn't going to happen. When I called his family he was already cremated and in an urn in their home. There was nothing I could do, I wanted so badly to pay my respects in person and see him for one last time, but that wasn't going to happen. In fact, when I look at it our first meeting was also our last and I didn't even know it.

His death weighs on me heavily and depresses me at times, but I always seem to put it back into perspective and realize he was born for a reason and that reason is evident in all his 54 - 58 offspring and counting that I know to exist at the time of this writing. My daughter has met approx. 13 of her siblings, some she connects with very quickly and others not so much, but we share with her who they are and she goes about her business just like a child would do and plays and interacts with the other children, its a site to see.

I don't understand where we go from here, I know its a start but time will tell how the rest of the story goes. Many missing pieces to this puzzle and at times I'm alright with that, I feel like I don't need to know everything, but sometimes my curiousity gets the better of me.......

T. Lane