And then there were 13...
Posted on 02/10/09
Hello, I have two children from my first marriage. I have been remarried for 18 years. We tried 7 years to have our son, all spent in fertility treatments. Under advisement of our doctor, we were never going to tell our son. Once we conceived and did not miscarry, we were given the donor number.
I had seen Wendy and Ryan on the Oprah show and checked out the DSR. No one had registered under our number, so I left things alone. Many years passed - life went on.
Recently, our son started questioning his looks, genetics and mannerisms, and how they didn't fit with his older siblings and us. I decided to check the Registry again on August 11, 2008. I was stunned, shocked, yet drawn to what I found. With a few strokes of the computer keys, my son was biologically connected to 12 other siblings. Reality had sunk in the donor was no longer 'just a number'. I cried. I'm not sure why: happy, sad, joy, fear, apprehension, disbelief, elation! I immediately received e-mails from 2 of the other moms. They were awesome! I could immediately see similarities between their children and mine. They also provided information on the donor, which answered many questions we had.
We made the decision to tell our son. Whew! Not easy. LOTS of emotions involved in telling a boy his papa isn't his biological papa, but still is his papa. He took the news very well. His first comment 'I always knew I wasn't Italian!' 'I'm probably German or Norwegian.' Wow... That IS what the donor's profile said. We have already met one of his siblings. AWESOME! They must have been separated at birth! A second meeting with another sibling is scheduled for April.
Why did I make the connection? Wendy has a saying under her name: 'There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other wings' Hodding Carter
I could have never made the connections without Wendy, Ryan and the DSR, and the others families that connected with DSR. Our son didn't ask to be born. We made that choice for him. Because of Ryan, Wendy created the Donor Sibling Registry. Now I made the choice to give my son the wings he'll need to find those roots he so deserves. A family far beyond what we could have given him. For that, we are forever grateful! Thank you!