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FIRST MEETING WITH DONOR DAD

Posted on 12/25/08

I am a single mom of a beautiful, and intelligent 12, soon to be 13 year old daughter. I guess I should start from the beginning. Prior to finding out about DSR, when my daughter was about 11 months old we accidentally met a half brother that lives about 300 miles away from us. We have had off and on contact with his moms throughout our children's short lives. Then in June 2006 I became a member of DSR with the desire of my daughter then 10 years old to hopefully connect with other half siblings (I'm pretty sure she was hoping to find a sister). I was reluctant to post right away, we just kept browsing every so often.

On July 10, 2007 we were excited to find that a half sister and her mom had posted, I immediately posted and the girls have been emailing often. Over Easter vacation of 2007 her mom and her came to visit (they live out of state). The visit went great the girls were inseparable. On May 10, 2008 another half sister posted on the DSR, and my daughter and her have been emailing, in fact all three girls email each other. In June she came to visit for a day, she lives much closer, the meeting went well. THEN ON JUNE 22, 2008 their donor DAD posted!! My daughter was the first one to discover it, she started screaming. He updated us on his life, he did not say that he did not want to be contacted so I just assumed that if he posted he would not mind if my daughter e-mailed him through DSR. She emailed him right away then called her half sisters who also emailed him (poor guy, I'm sure he was overwhelmed). What I did not know at the time was that he had a medical icon next to his posting and his motivation for posting was to update us on a medical condition that affected one of his siblings and he felt we should all be aware of. With Wendy's help I was able to find and open this post. Needless to say I felt very bad that we had been intrusive with the e-mails. In the meantime he e mailed my daughter back and actually attached some photos which we could not retrieve though DSR, he was very sensitive to her feelings but it was clear that he did not anticipate hearing from us. I e mailed him back to apologize for being so intrusive and that we would not bother him again without his approval. He responded to this, and stated that he would have to think about all of this and that he would get back to us. After 1 month he wrote back on his own email account gave us his address, phone number, full name and sent us pictures. My daughter was so excited, but not as excited as she was when they spoke on the phone in early November and made arrangements to meet.

On November 16, 2008 my daughter met her biological Dad. He came to our house (he lives about 2 hours away), everything went perfectly, he was an open book, easy to talk to with a great since of humor (just like my daughter). I took pictures, he also brought a camera for pictures. It 's funny everyone always thought that she looked like me, but I have to say she looks very much like his daughter. The first meeting could not have gone any better, he stayed about 3 hours. When he got home he sent us pictures of his family including his mom and dad, and some of his friends so we could get a feel for his life. We stay in contact via email, and Christmas cards. I don't know when we will see him again, we are just letting things happen. My daughter an I are pretty laid back and certainly don't want to scare him off so were just going to continue to write him now and then and let him decide how much he wants my daughter to be involved in his life. For now my daughter is happy to have met him and loves the pictures he has sent us, many hanging up on refrigerator, and a few plastered to her school binder. Thanks again Wendy for all the work you do.