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Sibling Found on DSR

Posted on 09/19/12

I have had my son's info posted on DSR for a few years now and even though there are other siblings listed on the same donor number we weren't ever able to make contact with them. However...last summer a new donor sibling registered on DSR when she turned 18 and sent us a message. My son was able to make contact with her and they have formed a nice friendship. His donor sibling is an only child and is very excited to have made a "connection" with my son. They text and SKYPE almost daily although that has slowed a bit as they both began college this year. I am happy that my son has found such a sweet person who understands all that goes with being a donor conceived child. At this age he is hesitant to talk with me about his feelings but I know from talking with his donor sibling that they share a lot of their feelings with each other. They haven't met in person yet because they are several states away from each other and also because of their busy college schedules but I believe that will happen at the first opportunity. The only negative about their connection has been that the parent of the other young lady is not in a very good place about the entire "donor conceived child issue." This has been tough on both of the kids as the other parent views it with negativity and shame. We are the opposite in my family and feel that secrecy and shame can have a very negative impact on everyone but we respect the wishes on the other parent not to become involved. I do wish however that she wouldn't make some of the negative statements that she makes to her daughter regarding "donor siblings." I don't think that at the curent age of our children she should threaten "never speaking to her child" again if her daughter continues with the donor sibling relationship. Of course they are continuing the relationship because it is very helpful and fulfilling to both of them in a way that other friendships can't be but now the young woman must do so in secrecy. Hopefully one day the other parent will come to accept her decision and figure out a way to be okay with it....or at least not do any more emotional harm to her daughter. Even with the negativity from the other parent I wouldn't change having the opportunity to get to know my son's donor sibling and I know they wouldn't change it either. We are all so happy to have a new family member and I am especially happy the the kids have each other to talk to about issues that may come up as they get older. We are so thankful for the DSR.